CONTEST Winners!!! CONTEST Winners!!! CONTEST Winners!!!
The I HATE KARIN SLAUGHTER IN FIFTY WORDS OR LESS Contest Without Spoilers is now closed. If you got my newsletter, you'd know about this stuff at the same time all the cool kids do.
WINNERS:
I HATE Karin Slaughter because I know that at least two of her characters are not very well disguised versions of me and my life. She knows it and I know it. You didn't even attempt to disguise it, did you Slaughter? Well played.
Linda Rafalski, United States
I hate Karin Slaughter because she mentions the UK, or England, or Ireland in her news letters. What about Scotland? I can't be your only Scottish fan!! Mind you, I could mention that other thing, but I won't.
Kathleen Brennan, Scotland
I hate Karin Slaughter because she is incredibly annoying. I mean she writes these books that keep me up all night reading and sends emails that make me laugh hysterically and then expects me to express my wrath in fifty measly words! I swear, if I had five more words
Dorothy Distefano, United States
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
I hate Karin Slaughter because being a FAITHLESS reader, normality, as I know it, becomes FRACTURED and UNDONE. I get BLINDSIGHTED BEYOND REACH. A FAINT COLD FEAR spreads through me as there is an INDELIBLE stain on my coffee cup. Did I forget to wash it while reading?
Nicole Scherzer, Australia
I hate Karin Slaughter because ze een tomeloos disrespect heeft voor de Nederlandse taal in het algemeen en de uitspraak van het woordje kleur in het bijzonder, door het publiekelijk te vergelijken met something like a frog clearing its throat through a broken kazoo, en daarin ook nog gelijk heeft
Theo van Uffelen, The Netherlands
I hate Karin Slaughter because I was working on breaking the Guiness Book of World Records record for longest number of days without cursing. On the bright side, after finishing her last book, I may have broken the record for longest string of expletives used.
Terra Sleep, United States
I hate Karin Slaughter because her books are so utterly fantastic, that i have to share their greatness with my friends. Hence they borrow the books and i never get them back! Then i need to buy new copies. Far too clever that Karin Slaughter.
Hayley Curtis, England
I just hate you because it may be the only way to win.
Cindy Griggs, United States
Congratulations, winners!! Please send me your snail mail address so that I can send you a book. Honorable mentions, well, you get honorable mentions... somebody has to be left to buy the book, right? But you got your name on my contest page! Doesn't that count for something?
Some other entries I liked:
I hate Karin Slaughter because her last book got me so mad, I threw it across the room. I love books and usually treat them well. I don't like tossing them around. This made me feel guilty and it was all Karin's fault.
I hate Karin Slaughter because of her wicked way with words that nearly jump down our throats, her twisted humor that slaps us across the face but we keep coming back for more, but above all, her ability to stop us dead in our tracks with unimaginable grief and yet we KNOW she'll make it better.
While reading FracturedWhy I hate Karin Slaughter: Time spent reading: 3 hours, Time spent in shock: 6 hours 12 minutes 48 seconds, time spent researching the website to see WTF was going on: 45 minutes. Therapy bill for the totally unbeleivable and wrong: daughter's college fund, thanks a lot.
A riot broke out in town.
Chaos ensued
Everything burned down.
I sat in my chair
Reading about Will Trent
Ignorant of this catastrophe
Of my future residence in a tent.
I concluded by book
Looked around, realized by fate.
I screamed
It's Karin Slaughter I hate!
I hate Karin Slaughter because...well, YOU know what you did, missy !!! But I forgive you...chiefly because I hate my little sister even MORE for calling me before I got to THAT part to tell me (while crying hysterically) how much SHE hated you, and totally giving away the ending ! Unforgiveable !
I hate Karin Slaughter because I got so into Tryptich, I forgot to ask for the epidural, and had to go through 27 hours of labor naturally! But, mostly for that other thing we're not allowed to say. wink wink
I hate Karin Slaughter because she made a contest I can't enter.
I hate Karin Slaughter because she canīt write a book every month. So I have to wait to long to read more. It make me very like a dwarf of Snowwhite: Grumpy!I also hate Karin Slaughter for using red mailboxes...I hate mailboxes. Why not as in the Netherlands a hole in the door. Why not???
I hate Karin Slaughter because:
- She s never toured where I live.
- She takes too long to write each book.
- Her books haven't been made into movies
- She's only giving away ONE copy of Undone!
- We only get 50 words & 300 characters whichmakesitreallyhardtowritethis! So there!
I hate Karin Slaughter because her books take my breath away and make me gasp out loud and make me make unattractive sounds in public places. Therefore I can only read her books at home and never, ever on an airplane, because people look at me strangely and with concern for their safety.
I hate Karin Slaughter because my Chihuahua, Trixi, was extremely offended when she read the disparaging remarks made regarding the flatulent, cheese-eating Betty in Triptych. Trixi also hates Angie for locking Betty in the closet in Fractured. (BTW, the No Spoilers rule really sucks.)
I hate Karin Slaughter because I do... I don't feel I need a valid reason and If I had a valid reason then surely you would be the last person I'd share it with. I hate you so there!
There are several reasons to hate Karin Slaughter, and none regarding her extensive works (mentioned here, at least) will be noted. 1, the obnoxious coincidence of SLAUGHTER gifted as a last name. 2, excessive use of exclamation points present in her newsletter. 3, I'm limited in wordcount.Boo.
