The Karin Slaughter Limerick Contest Announcement!
The Three Winners!
Karin Slaughter writes books that are cryptic
The storylines are never elliptic !!
The characters feel real
They add much appeal
For that reason I've gone out and bought Triptych!!
Paul Kaanon
Modesto, California
"I've a screw loose!" "I'm pregnant!" "I'm gay!"
Little kinks folks tell Sara each day,
Though they're keys to the crimes
In Grant County's weird times,
The real spice is her rolls in the hay.
Nancy J. Holladay
Nampa, Idaho
She thought herself hard to the core
Then she entered her own private war
The unbreakable twin
Was broken again
when she found herself nailed to the floor
Karen Spencley
Runners Up:
(no prizes, but you get recognition, dammit!)
There once was a woman from Reece
Whose life came apart piece by piece
But though she may be shaken
There is no mistakin'
She can cut off your balls with her keys.
Meike Wouters
There once was a lady from Grant,
Who worked for her town like an ant,
Her sister's a dear,
For her husband let's cheer,
But poor Lena's the town deviant.
Ashley Wolfe
That dark-minded fiend Karin Slaughter,
decided that this time the daughter,
should be buried alive,
and how she did strive,
To make us read things we shouldn't oughta!
Jane Davey
Once was a cop named Lena
Years on the job made her mean'a
She raced against time,
Against bad guys and crime,
Kicking ass is what kept her so keen'a
Grete Evans
Karin Slaughter is the best.
Her top selling books will attest.
So, with a grin and a nod,
She'll award me the iPod
And say "it sucks to be you," to the rest.
Kellye Benton
There once was a copper called Lena,
She was hard but her boyfriend was meaner,
She had scars in her hands
From a crazy mean man
But she puts on a brave demeanour
Gilly
DIShonorable Mention
(Can't you read the rules! This is why Tunisia will never be a world power, people.)
A gal from Tunisia am I,
So distraught I may cry
No ipod for me???
I read Grant County FAITHFULLY
Why can't I give the contest a try???
Cindy Donaldson
There once was a group of Tunisians
Who relished a book of malfeasance
but Slaughter said no
your poems must go
without a very good reason
Amy Warner
Special Mention for Horndogs:
Lena really seems just like a rookie;
then she hooked up with a dumb cookie.
Ole Jeffrey, what a guy!
Sometimes makes his Sara cry.
Please punish both men and stop giving them nookie.
Hayley Roberts
A doctor named Sara is keen
That lawman Jeff on her should lean;
So time after time
She helps him solve crime,
While bedding the man in between.
Elizabeth Larson
For victims, Sara finds out the how
And Jeffrey arrests the perp now
Together they work well
Though their marriage was hell
But in bed it all ends with a wow!
Elizabeth Wilkerson
Special Mention for Bringing Cash to a Bookstore:
There once was a writer named Karin
whose novels were utterly darin"
When Triptych comes out
I'll arrive with a shout
At the bookstore with cash Ima carryin"
Sheila
Special Mention for Rhyming Smut with Butt:
There once was an author of Kisscut
Who wanted limericks without any smut
She writes great books
Has stunning looks
But now, she can go kiss my butt
Adrian Millar
Special Mention for Being a Goober:
There was a county named Grant, uh
Where the rednecks all drank orange Fanta
But people kept dyin'
Without even tryin'
So everyone moved to Atlanta
Bill Burgess *yes, that Bill Burgess and I told you already
you couldn't win the contest, you goober.
Special Mention for…Specialness…?
A Triptych of Limericks
Three by Esther Denissen
The smell of death gets to your nose
There' s blood all around this house
It drips down the wall
Jeffrey comes into the hall
And is looking for the spouse
Sara is getting the limbs together
And trying to make them look better
It is not easy
They look so sleezy
Just come out of the shredder
Grant County becomes so criminal
The hostage was just minimal
Population is waking up
The worst is just top
The killers get more flexible
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